I wish I could “cut” all the books in my shelf and “paste” them on
my brain so I wouldn’t have to go through the tedious task of book reading. My
habit of collecting second hand books from Booksale makes my solitary shelf the
Alexandria of our garaged-turned bedroom. My wife is no longer amused by the
clutter of “The Great Deluge”, “The Coming Plague”, “Problematic”, I mean
“Systematic Theology”, “The Destiny of Man”, “Then Shall Come the End”, etc.
“Why am I being punished like this?” the wife said.
“What?”
“You know what!”
“I don’t know what.”
“Could you please look at your book shelf. What is it telling
you?”
“Oh, that.”
“Yes, that”
“That, my dear wife, is the very evidence of our existence. A neat
and tidy bedroom means no one is living in it” I lectured while peering through
the pages of “My Other Life” by Paul Theroux.
“Are you kidding me? You see the meaning of existence out of this
clutter?” the wife beamed.
There’s a certain degree of knowing between husband and wife in
marriage. It goes with the number of years being together. I know exactly when
not to pursue an argument or else I would have to make my own cup of coffee.
Deep within I agree with her. My books are a mess. Which brings me back to my
first statement here – I wish I could cut and paste them all in my head.
Why couldn’t I? Of course there’s the barrier between human and
non-human, but really, I wish some nerd out there could finally invent the
technology for this. That would make my life easy and my wife happy. Imagine I
can just Ironman-gaze at these books and “KAZZZUUMMM!” everything is downloaded
in my memory. Everything would be there like,
“All rights reserved.
Copyright © 1993 by Jerry Seinfeld
Cover photos copyright © 1993 by Annie
Leibovitz.
Library of Congress Catalog Card No:
93-14467
No part of this book may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including,
photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,
without permission in writing from the publisher”
Or this.
“ISBN 0-553-57313-6
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA”
I won't mind if my left eye flutters uncontrollably everytime
I scan these data’s, or that my tongue slithers in and out my lips each
time I read an item there. I won't mind looking stupid at all just so
I could have the luxury of cutting and pasting these books in my head.
I know the whole idea would make me a lazy slob but I
won't mind the bargain. Isn’t that what is happening in modern life? I mean
look at all things. We use to embark on a long journey to a nearby river just
so we could have water to cook our food and wash our clothes. Now, all we have
to do is turn the faucet on.
We have fantastic toilet bowls that either flushes or vacuum out
the dirt from our asses. And for that, I wish too, they could add an electronic
hand that, you know, could slide through the bottom to wipe it clean. And while
you’re on the throne, how about two electronic elbows from both sides, popping
out, complete with hands and fingers, putting on toothpaste and brushing your
teeth?
Yes, I’m asking too much here. Humanity still values physical
exertion of some kind. At least you’ll flip your thumb repeatedly when the
light switch is broken, and pound it with your fist when the Christmas-light-bulb
flips you out completely. Or that toilet bowls require you to actually sit on
it, and that the 900 channels in your remote control will surely beat the lame
muscles in your forearm.
There’s a pampering effect about modern technology. The easy life it
breeds makes us less patient and less forgiving. The Claudine Baretto showdown
may be a case in point. She expected the efficient modern airline system to
place her baggages on the expected spot. When a glitch occurred, Baretto
reacted and Pandora’s Box flipped wide open to the consternation of all involved
but to the glee of scoop-hungry media.
Now, about my books. Well, it would do me enormous good to just clean up the mess.
What a funny post you have...i like it much...the way how you project and describe...You're genius and plenty of ideas!
ReplyDeleteYou make my day complete with that laughter you made. :) xoxoxoxox
Thanks.